i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
