haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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