She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
