I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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