weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I party with great urgency now.
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