Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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