it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
