right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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