Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's the barista slut.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
