Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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