she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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