Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
