I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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