I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
is that a dick in a sweater?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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