There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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