I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Screwed.edu
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Randomize
