Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
