He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
