Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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