Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
false alarm, still single
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