Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
