I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
