Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate