Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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