I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
