Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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