I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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