um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
