Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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