i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
