no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
