i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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