I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
