I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
