pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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