I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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