Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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