I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
