dude i'm inner monologue high
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
