I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
