You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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