i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
