My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
