yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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