Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
