Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Randomize
