Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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