He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
