Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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