Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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