I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
