I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
