Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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