on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
