You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
