Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
