We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
